It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I have done a lot of things.

For example; I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks, I haven’t felt much like talking. Or is it that I haven’t had much to share? Probably the latter. I haven’t been to the pub since my birthday and that was months ago now, although there was a Friday night drink after work with the buddies, for an hour. I can’t for the life of me remember when that was though. A lot seems NOT to have happened since then, but last and by no means least, I haven’t had sex. I haven’t had sex for what seems like ages and even though it is probably not as long as it feels, it has most definitely been a while.

We are slowly coming out of lockdown and to all intents and purposes most activities will be available again, the pubs are opening on the 4th of July, the shops even sooner and much to everyone’s excitement the fast food drive thru’s are open again.

Really? Like that is the be all and end of universe.

Honestly, can people really be this excited about a burger?

Yes. Apparently they can.

Three hour queues have been reported up and down the country, road chaos and people sunbathing on the road side as they move in inches, not miles, per hour towards the window of dreams. I think I am probably the only one who just doesn’t get it. I don’t mind a burger, but I can wait another week or so before I have to have one, especially if it is going to cost me a tank of fuel in process.

Tom and Elsie have been hinting that they too would like to join the queue for a bic mac and large fries, sadly neither of them can drive!

So, with the re-opening of society on the horizon we are all gradually starting to think about meeting up with friends and family, maybe having lunches, al fresco of course, no one is allowed indoors, unless they URGENTLY need to use the toilet. Isn’t every need for the toilet urgent? We are not camels, our bladders only hold so much fluid and then it has to go somewhere. I know I would prefer a toilet to the possibility of it running down my legs and into my bloody shoes.

However, the rules change slightly if you want to spend an hour in Primark or Ikea. This is because when you shop you can spend time indoors and you can do it with approximately fifty other people in your eye line, none of whom you have ever laid on before and none of whom you know anything about, but having your allocated six people or even just one of them, inside your own home, No. You can’t do that!

I hear people talking all the time about their own safety and the fact that others are putting them at risk. What I want to know is how?

Surely we are all just going about our business, the best way we know how and yes sometimes we need to be reminded that there is/was a pandemic on the loose, but Jesus Christ, can we all just stop to remember, even if only for a second, that this is NOT normal to us and sometimes we forget.

Personally, I am struggling with the new rules and which bits of them apply to which people and I don’t think I am alone.

I don’t understand the differences between not sharing food I have prepared with someone, but being able to buy food prepared by more than one person in a fast food restaurant. Of not being able to hold hands with someone, yet soon I will be able to walk around clothing stores touching goodness knows what. I don’t see why I cannot use a friends toilet, but I can use the one at the park, particularly when I know for a fact, which one will be cleaner and I don’t see how asking some people to wear masks and not asking everyone to, is in any way logical. I just don’t get it.

I agree we all have to be careful, I am not a stupid women, contrary to popular opinion, but I am skeptical how being among lots of people shopping or on public transport is any more or less of a risk than being indoors with one person?

Perhaps I am a stupid woman?

I am aware that the decisions being made about our departure from lockdown are mostly driven by the need to get the economy moving. It is inevitable that going forward we need to start trying to achieve some balance between staying safe and continuing on with our lives, returning to normal, or at least the ‘new normal’, a phrase we hear all too often these days, but we all want it. We all want to return to our normal.

A new normal. Does anyone have any idea what that will be?

Whatever it is I don’t think it will include the opportunity for me to have sex, anytime soon. Social distancing will be a thing for ages, according to some, so where does that leave couples who don’t live together? Are they to be forced to live together? Or forced to ride it out in some kind of test on their relationship? Where does it leave the singles of the world, single for ……… who knows how long?

I don’t have a boyfriend and it’s probably just as well because I would have a huge problem right now, not to mention a criminal record! This is because it is now officially official that you can not meet someone from another household for anything remotely touchy feely.

To meet someone outside of your own household for sex is illegal.

A crime. Punishable by law. Who would have thought it?

I didn’t see it coming. Did you?

I am in no rush to have sex and that is not really the point of this post, but I wont lie and say it doesn’t bother me that I can’t. It does.

Why is it when someone says you can’t, you just bloody well want to?

Fortunately for me, there is no temptation to break the law, thus far.

I have been messaging the same few people since the beginning of lockdown, that is 12 weeks now and one of them was a good few weeks prior to lockdown. I know more about these men than I do about my bloody sister and if this carries on I will almost feel married, as these are the longest ‘relationships’ I have probably had in ages.

Credit where credit is due though, I never thought we would get there and it hasn’t been without it’s tiresome moments, some days I can’t be bothered with all the chit chat and I am sure they feel exactly the same. It is hard to keep your smiley end up all the time. Sometimes I wonder if I should call time and then I think of what else I have to do at the moment and think why the hell would I?

For the most part it is fun and as usual I like them all for different reasons. It is nice to have someone to talk to and flirt with, but most of all it is nice to just have something to keep you afloat through the lockdown doldrums, of which there are many.

There is at least the promise of something, whatever that may be, at the end of this proverbial rainbow, whether that turns out to be sex or not remains to be seen. Any one of these ‘relationships’ could fizzle out at any given moment, for any number of reasons, but while they are still simmering away I will keep up my end up and play along and hope, that by the time we get to a point where meeting someone from another household for intimacy is not illegal, we still want to.

Besides, some days it just makes me happier than I would ordinarily be, it cheers me up, makes me smile and there is not enough to smile about at the moment.

❤️

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